In the spring of 1967, deep in the heart of Mississippi, a strong southern black woman gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. This, of course, has nothing to do with me. Afterall, you're not reading memoirs of strong black southern woman. Keep up! Would ya.
No, I burst into this world at Wesley Hospital in the bustling metropolis of Wichita, KS. And having aided in bringing such a glorious specimen of human magnificence into the world and knowing it would never house such greatness again, Wesley closed its doors and fell into disrepair. Eventually it was demolished and replaced with a strip mall which now houses a Big Lots!, Dominos and a Korean nail salon called You Nails Now!, which gives incredibly aggressive mani/pedis.
This, of course, is also a lie. The hospital is still there. But I do like to think there is some Korean woman out there giving painful yet stunning mani/pedis to masochists who leave the salon spent and trembling from shame.
So, anyway... There I was--naked and bloody--a symbol of the era of hippies and useless wars which I was now a part of. Little did my parents know what hell they unleashed upon the world...and themselves. The Diabetic Midget was loose.
NEXT TIME:
"Is his spine supposed to do that?"
No comments:
Post a Comment